I have no interest in material wealth or value what so ever, but I am absolutely gutted to discover that my grandmother has decided to put my sister down as executor on my granddad's will...
In the last four years, every Thursday that I was not in college or uni I went round to their place to spend time with them, talk to them and even do their gardening and housework. Sister #2, in the last four years, has only been round to see them at Christmases and Easters. She has basically ignored their very existence, while I've been doing all kinds of things for them, but grandmother has decided that she would prefer Sister #2 o be recognised on the will, and not me.
As I said, I'm not jealous because she'll be getting more or less everything that was his and I'll be getting nothing. I'm upset that grandmother appreciates the nothingness that Sister #2 has given them more than she appreciates the hours I've spent sat with them, keeping them company and looking after them.
I'm glad I made the effort...
Peace and Love
xx
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Monday, 12 October 2009
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
Vincent Randall
Vin, my dear grandfather, died this evening...
He was awesome, I loved him very much. But he had been ill for some time now, and all summer long he had been in and out of hospital, so even though I am upset I am also very relieved that his suffering is now over.
I don't think I have any bad memories of him. We always had a lot of fun together. We watched football and cricket together, we played golf every week a few summers back, and almost ever Thursday we'd play Scrabble. He actually won our last game, but that was on Wednesday last week. If it had been a Thursday, I would have won!
A few months back I went to the garden centre with him. He wanted grow bags for his tomatoes, so I put some in the back of his car while he went into the shop to pay for them. Ten minutes later he came back, but he didn't pay. He said the lady in front of him in the queue was having trouble with her bank card, and he couldn't wait any longer because our dinner was on, so we left without paying! He went back later that afternoon to pay for them! That was such a funny day...
I had so much fun with you Vinnie. I'm going to miss you greatly.
Peace and Love
xx
He was awesome, I loved him very much. But he had been ill for some time now, and all summer long he had been in and out of hospital, so even though I am upset I am also very relieved that his suffering is now over.
I don't think I have any bad memories of him. We always had a lot of fun together. We watched football and cricket together, we played golf every week a few summers back, and almost ever Thursday we'd play Scrabble. He actually won our last game, but that was on Wednesday last week. If it had been a Thursday, I would have won!
A few months back I went to the garden centre with him. He wanted grow bags for his tomatoes, so I put some in the back of his car while he went into the shop to pay for them. Ten minutes later he came back, but he didn't pay. He said the lady in front of him in the queue was having trouble with her bank card, and he couldn't wait any longer because our dinner was on, so we left without paying! He went back later that afternoon to pay for them! That was such a funny day...
I had so much fun with you Vinnie. I'm going to miss you greatly.
Peace and Love
xx
Wednesday, 2 September 2009
Highs and Lows
So I viewed those two flats... and oh my god! Laura, who works for Your Move, who showed me around the second flat yesterday, is so beautiful! I don't want my own flat, I want to share with her...
She has an amazing voice too, I'd spoken to her a couple of times on the phone and I'd built up this image in my head of what I thought she looked like, and I was so wrong. She's more beautiful than I could ever have imagined... And that smile... wow!
Viewing flats in Chatham was worth all the time it took just to see her...
But, afterwards I found out that my application for a student loan has been cancelled, which means I won't be able to afford a flat to rent, and more importantly, I won't be able to afford to study at uni... I've emailed the student loans people to ask them to reconsider, but if they don't, then I'm stuck in Margate, stuck in this house with my fucking family...
By the way, recently my mum fell over and has something unknown wrong with her knee. She is currently on crutches until they can work out what is wrong with it. Also, three of my four grandparents have been diagnosed with cancer in the last two months... Joy...
Peace and Love
xx
BTW, another low - Ana Ivanovic lost in 1st round of the US Open... Misery is everywhere I turn...
She has an amazing voice too, I'd spoken to her a couple of times on the phone and I'd built up this image in my head of what I thought she looked like, and I was so wrong. She's more beautiful than I could ever have imagined... And that smile... wow!
Viewing flats in Chatham was worth all the time it took just to see her...
But, afterwards I found out that my application for a student loan has been cancelled, which means I won't be able to afford a flat to rent, and more importantly, I won't be able to afford to study at uni... I've emailed the student loans people to ask them to reconsider, but if they don't, then I'm stuck in Margate, stuck in this house with my fucking family...
By the way, recently my mum fell over and has something unknown wrong with her knee. She is currently on crutches until they can work out what is wrong with it. Also, three of my four grandparents have been diagnosed with cancer in the last two months... Joy...
Peace and Love
xx
BTW, another low - Ana Ivanovic lost in 1st round of the US Open... Misery is everywhere I turn...
Monday, 10 August 2009
Selfishness
My mum is getting more and more selfish as the days unfold. Today she told a blatant lie down the phone to some friend of hers: "I'm so happy for him [me] that he [me] is going to Chatham". What she actually meant is that she is happy for herself that I am going to Chatham, because this means she can keep visiting me...
And not just me. This friend lives in Chatham too, and she and this friend have had very sordid phone conversations before, and as I heard her say to him, she'll be able to visit him more too. Therefore, she is more pleased for herself that I am going to Chatham than she is pleased for me.
While I'm on selfishness, my youngest sister has started taking over an hour in the bathroom! There are 6 of us living in this house, which has only one bathroom. So to go in there first thing in the morning when everyone else is getting up and getting ready for the day ahead, and then taking an hour is so selfish! She actually had the nerve to whinge at me this morning because just as she was about to go in there, I popped in there to take a leak. I took less than a minute, she took over an hour, but I was getting in her way, and next time I should wait so that she isn't late... She's only gone to the zoo, how can you be late for that?
Peace and Love
xx
And not just me. This friend lives in Chatham too, and she and this friend have had very sordid phone conversations before, and as I heard her say to him, she'll be able to visit him more too. Therefore, she is more pleased for herself that I am going to Chatham than she is pleased for me.
While I'm on selfishness, my youngest sister has started taking over an hour in the bathroom! There are 6 of us living in this house, which has only one bathroom. So to go in there first thing in the morning when everyone else is getting up and getting ready for the day ahead, and then taking an hour is so selfish! She actually had the nerve to whinge at me this morning because just as she was about to go in there, I popped in there to take a leak. I took less than a minute, she took over an hour, but I was getting in her way, and next time I should wait so that she isn't late... She's only gone to the zoo, how can you be late for that?
Peace and Love
xx
Tuesday, 31 March 2009
Selfishness
I hate selfish people. They're just so... selfish! I'm not even vaguely selfish (unless pursuing your dreams is considered to be a selfish act because it involves (or mine does anyway) moving away from the people who constantly ask you to do stuff for them).
Unfortunately for me, selfishness is the only thing that the members of my family have in common with each other, and they always seem to find things for me to do to make their lives easier or more fun. Is it easier or funner for me? Big fat no, because words like "You bought the dog, look after it yourself!" and "Do your own shopping!" never come out of my overly selfless mouth.
It drives me mad. I'm too nice. When people ask me to do stuff and I say no to them I start to feel really guilty, especially if I have nothing better to do. And I never seem to have anything better to do, because in spite of my incessant selflessness and need to please people, no matter how many times I ask people for work they always say no. Big fat no. Rejection hurts.
One day I might stop caring what people think of me and become selfish myself. I'm bound to reach the end of this tether some day. I'm always giving and giving and giving... Eventually there will be nothing left to give. I look forward to that day...
Peace and Love
xx
Unfortunately for me, selfishness is the only thing that the members of my family have in common with each other, and they always seem to find things for me to do to make their lives easier or more fun. Is it easier or funner for me? Big fat no, because words like "You bought the dog, look after it yourself!" and "Do your own shopping!" never come out of my overly selfless mouth.
It drives me mad. I'm too nice. When people ask me to do stuff and I say no to them I start to feel really guilty, especially if I have nothing better to do. And I never seem to have anything better to do, because in spite of my incessant selflessness and need to please people, no matter how many times I ask people for work they always say no. Big fat no. Rejection hurts.
One day I might stop caring what people think of me and become selfish myself. I'm bound to reach the end of this tether some day. I'm always giving and giving and giving... Eventually there will be nothing left to give. I look forward to that day...
Peace and Love
xx
Wednesday, 25 March 2009
Introduction
So this is me... I gave up my whole life to go to a uni 300 miles from home, only to get so frustrated with a course that was unproductive and teaching me nothing that I quit 5 months into it, and then gave up my whole life again to go 300 miles back home to a life I didn't like in the first place. Life's a bitch, huh?
Truth is I was doing 2 courses when I started - I quit the first one in November, and then packed in the other in February. Maybe uni wasn't for me at all... On the other hand, uni was awesome! Living in Halls was great and the social side of it was so much fun, it was easily the best 5 months of my life...
But not everything works out for the best. I've come home, and home is a mess. I've got a 24 year old sister who had a miscarriage yesterday (that's a good thing; she's already got 2 illegitimate children from 2 different guys) and she has a month to pay her council tax or face 3 months in prison, and a week to move out of her current flat before she gets chucked out for not paying any of her bills; I've got 3 ailing grandparents who need looking after (1 lives with us, and I'm the other's part-time gardener!); my dad loses his job at the end of this week; my mum's to ill to work, so babysits the oldest sister's constantly flowing stream of illegitmate kids with the help of my younger, very immature sister; and the other sister (the younger of my 2 older sisters) has a possible tumour in her knee and a boyfriend with similar hair, similar glasses and a similar name to me (that's not really a problem, it's just really weird and freaky). We also have 3 dogs, a poodle, a chiahuahua who has heart problems, and a whippet puppy who eats everything in sight when she's left alone... Good times? I think not...
So what of me? I don't know... I've applied to my local uni to do Film, Radio and Television Studies (possibly with History (it's complicated)) and I'm waiting for a reply from them, whilst looking for jobs in an area that has no jobs and a massive percentage of unemployed people. I have no money, a student debt, and I work voluntarily for my local football club. On some levels I deeply regret quitting uni, but I know it was probably the best thing to do, as it was so expensive and the course was a complete waste of time. What does the future hold? Who knows? But I do know that this blog will regularly be a part of it. Keep your eyes peeled for it, and tell your friends to also...
Peace and Love
xx
Truth is I was doing 2 courses when I started - I quit the first one in November, and then packed in the other in February. Maybe uni wasn't for me at all... On the other hand, uni was awesome! Living in Halls was great and the social side of it was so much fun, it was easily the best 5 months of my life...
But not everything works out for the best. I've come home, and home is a mess. I've got a 24 year old sister who had a miscarriage yesterday (that's a good thing; she's already got 2 illegitimate children from 2 different guys) and she has a month to pay her council tax or face 3 months in prison, and a week to move out of her current flat before she gets chucked out for not paying any of her bills; I've got 3 ailing grandparents who need looking after (1 lives with us, and I'm the other's part-time gardener!); my dad loses his job at the end of this week; my mum's to ill to work, so babysits the oldest sister's constantly flowing stream of illegitmate kids with the help of my younger, very immature sister; and the other sister (the younger of my 2 older sisters) has a possible tumour in her knee and a boyfriend with similar hair, similar glasses and a similar name to me (that's not really a problem, it's just really weird and freaky). We also have 3 dogs, a poodle, a chiahuahua who has heart problems, and a whippet puppy who eats everything in sight when she's left alone... Good times? I think not...
So what of me? I don't know... I've applied to my local uni to do Film, Radio and Television Studies (possibly with History (it's complicated)) and I'm waiting for a reply from them, whilst looking for jobs in an area that has no jobs and a massive percentage of unemployed people. I have no money, a student debt, and I work voluntarily for my local football club. On some levels I deeply regret quitting uni, but I know it was probably the best thing to do, as it was so expensive and the course was a complete waste of time. What does the future hold? Who knows? But I do know that this blog will regularly be a part of it. Keep your eyes peeled for it, and tell your friends to also...
Peace and Love
xx
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