I hate selfish people. They're just so... selfish! I'm not even vaguely selfish (unless pursuing your dreams is considered to be a selfish act because it involves (or mine does anyway) moving away from the people who constantly ask you to do stuff for them).
Unfortunately for me, selfishness is the only thing that the members of my family have in common with each other, and they always seem to find things for me to do to make their lives easier or more fun. Is it easier or funner for me? Big fat no, because words like "You bought the dog, look after it yourself!" and "Do your own shopping!" never come out of my overly selfless mouth.
It drives me mad. I'm too nice. When people ask me to do stuff and I say no to them I start to feel really guilty, especially if I have nothing better to do. And I never seem to have anything better to do, because in spite of my incessant selflessness and need to please people, no matter how many times I ask people for work they always say no. Big fat no. Rejection hurts.
One day I might stop caring what people think of me and become selfish myself. I'm bound to reach the end of this tether some day. I'm always giving and giving and giving... Eventually there will be nothing left to give. I look forward to that day...
Peace and Love
xx
Tuesday 31 March 2009
Saturday 28 March 2009
Good Causes...
I wanted to be a part of something global... so I joined in with this Earth Hour thing and turned off my lights. I wasn't really sure what the point of it was, but I went along with it anyway. It's all in the name of fun, I think... Maybe it was in the name of unity, or anti - climate change... I'm guessing it was a good cause of some sort, but like I said, I wasn't sure...
Anyways, Saturdays mean football! And, as usual, I turned up in the stands of my favourite football club, Margate FC... They have been having a horrific season and find themselves 20th of 22 and in the relegation zone of the Ryman Premier League. They gained a vital 3 points in a terrific win, 3-1 being the score. It should have been 4, could have been 5 or 6, but we won, and that's the main thing. That result was of course made so much sweeter by our neighbours Ramsgate dropping to the bottom of the league. A good day for my boys...
But an afternoon of shouting encouragement at a group of young players really takes it of you, and now my throat is sore. But that was all in a good cause too, just like the Earth Hour thing.
Peace and Love
xx
PS - don't foget to turn your clocks forward an hour! I forgot last year, I missed Time Team because of it. I was gutted.
Anyways, Saturdays mean football! And, as usual, I turned up in the stands of my favourite football club, Margate FC... They have been having a horrific season and find themselves 20th of 22 and in the relegation zone of the Ryman Premier League. They gained a vital 3 points in a terrific win, 3-1 being the score. It should have been 4, could have been 5 or 6, but we won, and that's the main thing. That result was of course made so much sweeter by our neighbours Ramsgate dropping to the bottom of the league. A good day for my boys...
But an afternoon of shouting encouragement at a group of young players really takes it of you, and now my throat is sore. But that was all in a good cause too, just like the Earth Hour thing.
Peace and Love
xx
PS - don't foget to turn your clocks forward an hour! I forgot last year, I missed Time Team because of it. I was gutted.
Wednesday 25 March 2009
Introduction
So this is me... I gave up my whole life to go to a uni 300 miles from home, only to get so frustrated with a course that was unproductive and teaching me nothing that I quit 5 months into it, and then gave up my whole life again to go 300 miles back home to a life I didn't like in the first place. Life's a bitch, huh?
Truth is I was doing 2 courses when I started - I quit the first one in November, and then packed in the other in February. Maybe uni wasn't for me at all... On the other hand, uni was awesome! Living in Halls was great and the social side of it was so much fun, it was easily the best 5 months of my life...
But not everything works out for the best. I've come home, and home is a mess. I've got a 24 year old sister who had a miscarriage yesterday (that's a good thing; she's already got 2 illegitimate children from 2 different guys) and she has a month to pay her council tax or face 3 months in prison, and a week to move out of her current flat before she gets chucked out for not paying any of her bills; I've got 3 ailing grandparents who need looking after (1 lives with us, and I'm the other's part-time gardener!); my dad loses his job at the end of this week; my mum's to ill to work, so babysits the oldest sister's constantly flowing stream of illegitmate kids with the help of my younger, very immature sister; and the other sister (the younger of my 2 older sisters) has a possible tumour in her knee and a boyfriend with similar hair, similar glasses and a similar name to me (that's not really a problem, it's just really weird and freaky). We also have 3 dogs, a poodle, a chiahuahua who has heart problems, and a whippet puppy who eats everything in sight when she's left alone... Good times? I think not...
So what of me? I don't know... I've applied to my local uni to do Film, Radio and Television Studies (possibly with History (it's complicated)) and I'm waiting for a reply from them, whilst looking for jobs in an area that has no jobs and a massive percentage of unemployed people. I have no money, a student debt, and I work voluntarily for my local football club. On some levels I deeply regret quitting uni, but I know it was probably the best thing to do, as it was so expensive and the course was a complete waste of time. What does the future hold? Who knows? But I do know that this blog will regularly be a part of it. Keep your eyes peeled for it, and tell your friends to also...
Peace and Love
xx
Truth is I was doing 2 courses when I started - I quit the first one in November, and then packed in the other in February. Maybe uni wasn't for me at all... On the other hand, uni was awesome! Living in Halls was great and the social side of it was so much fun, it was easily the best 5 months of my life...
But not everything works out for the best. I've come home, and home is a mess. I've got a 24 year old sister who had a miscarriage yesterday (that's a good thing; she's already got 2 illegitimate children from 2 different guys) and she has a month to pay her council tax or face 3 months in prison, and a week to move out of her current flat before she gets chucked out for not paying any of her bills; I've got 3 ailing grandparents who need looking after (1 lives with us, and I'm the other's part-time gardener!); my dad loses his job at the end of this week; my mum's to ill to work, so babysits the oldest sister's constantly flowing stream of illegitmate kids with the help of my younger, very immature sister; and the other sister (the younger of my 2 older sisters) has a possible tumour in her knee and a boyfriend with similar hair, similar glasses and a similar name to me (that's not really a problem, it's just really weird and freaky). We also have 3 dogs, a poodle, a chiahuahua who has heart problems, and a whippet puppy who eats everything in sight when she's left alone... Good times? I think not...
So what of me? I don't know... I've applied to my local uni to do Film, Radio and Television Studies (possibly with History (it's complicated)) and I'm waiting for a reply from them, whilst looking for jobs in an area that has no jobs and a massive percentage of unemployed people. I have no money, a student debt, and I work voluntarily for my local football club. On some levels I deeply regret quitting uni, but I know it was probably the best thing to do, as it was so expensive and the course was a complete waste of time. What does the future hold? Who knows? But I do know that this blog will regularly be a part of it. Keep your eyes peeled for it, and tell your friends to also...
Peace and Love
xx
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